Saturday, November 18, 2017

LOL Day two

Well yesterday was a record for The Journey with 13 comments -- and a couple from some new folks YAY!!  It was so much fun checking the comments all day -- and yes it was as good as getting mail when I was a kid.

I started The Journey 12 1/2 years ago.  At the beginning I thought I could only write about BDSM -- and in the beginning it was all I wanted to write about.... I was so sure of what I wanted/needed back then... and there has been more than a little angst on here.... there were times I took the blog down for a few days -- thinking I'd never come back but I always did... more than once I questioned why I was writing a BDSM blog when most of what I was writing was vanilla -- and a lot of you urged me just to write -- that you'd be here if I was writing about BDSM ... or my kids at school .. or the bouts with cancer ... or my soul searching or my rants.

And so I wrote ...... and continue to write ....... 

Thank you to my lurkers and my regular readers and commentors -- you're all very special 'friends'........

Friday, November 17, 2017

Today's THE day!! LOL day

Well today IS the day -- LOL day.  Thanks to Hermione for keeping up the tradition.  If you want to check out her blog it is HERE.

Other blogs come up with such good ideas to encourage our lurkers to come out of the shadows for the LOL posts -- things like 'for every comment I will take a spanking" to offering to answer any question folks ask.  

I don't have any clever incentives to offer -- just a warm welcome and a hope that you will leave a "hi" in the comment section.  (you don't have to have an account or a screen name -- you can post anonymously)

When folks do post on my blog (doesn't happen often) it feels like when I was a kid and would get a letter in the mail (yes I'm THAT old!!) Seriously folks this is much easier than actually mailing me a letter -- just click the comment button and write a word or two.. 

 It is - after all - the whole point of the day -- to celebrate our lurkers!!!! 

(cheeky grin) and who knows maybe my Sir Steve will leave a comment - he's my biggest lurker!!

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Broken and can't be fixed

Early Tuesday morning when I got up -- I did my 'poke' test.  Inside didn't feel right -- physically I was fine -- but something didn't feel 'right' -- something felt broken - and it hurt.  Deep inside me.

I have tried for so long to be strong when it comes to the mother and grandmother and all their nastiness.  I have pulled myself up after each episode -- I have slogged on after each episode -- I have continued to 'fight the good fight' (I guess) after each episode.

BUT this time it feels like something broke deep inside me -- it feels like it will never be fixed again.  

I have no say in anything that happens.  I have no control over any of this.  I am the 'outsider'. 

I honestly don't know what direction life will take now -- 
I do know I love Sir Steve with my whole being and I'm not going anywhere -- but I also know I just can't be as emotionally invested in his family -- in his problems -- in his lil one.

And that is not a good thing.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Are you lurking out there??

Eight years ago I wrote my first blog entry for LOL day .. you can read it HERE.

I haven't done it for the last few years -- but thought I might do it again this year.  The official dates for LOL day are November 17th and 18th 

I hope all my quiet ones will drop by and leave a little 'hello' or some pearls of wisdom..... 

See you all then.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Can I give up?

We had another date for the custody hearing -- in two weeks.  We found out mother will be out of town on another holiday and not available for the court date.

We found out the court date has been changed? BUT -  there is NO new date for the custody hearing

We are still in limbo 

It has been over 14 months that mother has been dragging her heels -- what is it with the court system??!!!! 

Colour me pissed off -- angry -- frustrated -- and very sad!